


A Battle of Demons

by adiwriting



Series: My Home [11]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Childhood Friends, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Kidnapping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-24
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-04-27 03:04:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14416290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adiwriting/pseuds/adiwriting
Summary: As the people he loves begin disappearing left and right, Oliver worries that he's in the middle of a fight he cannot hope to win.





	1. Thursday

**Author's Note:**

> People have been prompting this fic for a long time, but it's taken me awhile to figure out exactly what I wanted this fic to be, who's perspective I wanted to tell it from, and how dark I wanted it to go. Hopefully it lives up to expectations! 
> 
> This story takes place starting January 31st, after the events of [Everything Can Change in an Instant](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12396564/chapters/31338390). For a more complete timeline, see the [Home Verse Timeline](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13304013).

**Thursday**

Oliver sits on the sofa next to Felicity as Tommy paces back and forth in front of them. 

“Is there anywhere else that you can think of— anywhere at all that your father might try and hide?” the FBI agent asks Tommy. 

“I don’t know,” Tommy says, running his hands through his hair, frustrated. 

It’s been twenty-four hours since the FBI tried to arrest Malcolm Merlyn and failed. The longer it takes to find him, the more likely it is that he’s going to get away. Every fiber of Oliver’s being is itching to get out in the field. He wants to find Merlyn, drag him back to Starling City, and force him to face the consequences of what he’s done. 

The Hood isn’t an option, however. Not with the FBI placing Tommy, Felicity, and himself under their constant supervision. There’s no way he can disappear without raising some serious questions. So for now he just has to place his faith in either the FBI or SCPD being able to locate him. And if, in the likely scenario they can’t, he has Digg out in the field trying to hunt down leads. 

“The company has properties all over the world,” Tommy says. “He probably fled to a place without extradition treaties.”

“There is no record of Malcolm Merlyn getting on any flights,” the agent explains, causing Felicity to snort. 

All eyes turn to her. 

“What? Malcolm’s already evaded what was supposed to be a covert takedown. You think he wouldn’t be able to board a plane without you knowing?” she explains, giving the agent an unamused look. 

Felicity is every bit as frustrated with this protection detail as he is. They are both forced to sit on their hands while Malcolm slips further out of their grasp. Putting Oliver out of commission is one thing. But putting Felicity out of commission is something else entirely. If anyone on this planet is smart enough to find Malcolm, it’s her. 

“Listen Blondie—”

“Excuse me?” Oliver stands up at the same time Tommy steps between the agent and Felicity, hands in fists ready to fight. 

“It’s fine,” Felicity says, tugging Oliver back down as Tommy steps back, but still looks ready to throw a punch. 

“If you and your boyfriend hadn’t decided to play Sherlock Holmes and informed us sooner, we’d already have him,” the agent says. 

“If my boyfriend and I hadn’t played Sherlock Holmes, this city would have already been reduced to rubble,” Felicity says. 

“A bunch of regular old vigilanties,” the agent grumbles. 

Oliver bites his tongue despite the overwhelming desire to kick this guy’s smug ass. He can’t afford to get sent off to jail for beating a federal agent and he definitely can’t afford to be outed as the Hood. Obviously, Felicity doesn’t share the same concern because she has no problem replying. 

“I’m an employee at Merlyn Global and happened upon the information when I was dealing with a security breach on the servers. That’s hardly what I would call a vigilante,” she says, crossing her arms defiantly. 

The man just scoffs. These agents have been giving them shit since yesterday. They’re embarrassed that they haven’t been able to find Malcolm and they’ve decided to place the blame for that on Oliver, Tommy, and Felicity.

“If you want to catch a vigilante, why don’t you go chase after that green guy in a hood and stop interrogating us. We’ve already told you everything we know, so go actually do your job and find my dad,” Tommy says. “Every badge in this city is supposedly looking for him. I don’t understand how he could just disappear. Are you that incompetent?” 

Oliver can feel the stress radiating off of Tommy. It’s doing nothing to calm Oliver’s nerves. This entire situation is a shitshow and he’s helpless to do anything about it. With two FBI agents in the apartment, two outside the front door, three cops on the balcony, and nearly a dozen officers downstairs, he couldn’t sneak out even if he wanted to. Even if he went out through the vents or made a makeshift grappling hook in order to go out the 10th story window, somebody would eventually notice his absence and start asking questions. 

They’ve been under surveillance for the last 24 hours and it’s driving everyone a little crazy. The FBI is convinced that Malcolm is going to make a move against them and Oliver can’t say he disagrees. When Malcolm had kidnapped him two nights ago, Oliver had gotten a taste of just how far Malcolm is willing to go in order to go through with the Undertaking. He wants to believe that Malcolm wouldn’t kill his own son, but he can’t. Oliver never in a million years thought that Malcolm was capable of being the Dark Archer and it turns out he is. He’s learned the hard way that none of their parents are as innocent as they once seemed. 

Felicity reaches out to hold onto his hand and it’s only then that he realizes he’s nearly rubbed the side of his finger raw with his thumb. She gives him a sympathetic smile before nodding to Tommy.

Oliver looks over to see Tommy nearly pulling his hair out as he runs his hands through it for the thousandth time. Oliver feels awful. He never wanted Tommy to have to deal with any of this. He was hoping that they’d stop the Undertaking, take out Malcolm, and then somehow convince Tommy that he’d run off with some Brazilian model or something. Tommy would have been better off for it. Malcolm had never been a great father anyways. Oliver never planned for the day when Tommy figured out the truth about his dad. He doesn’t know what to say to him. Nothing he says will change the facts. 

His dad is a terrorist and a murderer. 

“Go,” he says quietly. 

She gives him another small smile before kissing him on the cheek and standing up. She walks over to Tommy and takes his hand and leads him out of the room towards Tommy’s old bedroom. 

The agent watches Tommy and Felicity before turning back to him and snorting. 

“What?” Oliver asks, annoyed. 

“You’re letting her go into a bedroom with the infamous Tommy Merlyn? What do you like share her or something?” he asks. 

Oliver’s hands curl into fists as it takes everything in him not to start a fight. That’s clearly what this man is looking for. They’ve all been cooped up for too long with nothing happening on the Malcolm front. 

“Why don’t you focus on your job?” he growls. 

Oliver stands up and moves into Felicity’s bedroom. Hopefully some distance will help calm his nerves a bit and help him think. He closes the door behind him and immediately leans against it and lets out a frustrated sigh. 

He pulls his phone out of his back pocket and stares at it, annoyed by the lack of notifications. Digg is supposed to call if there is any news, but otherwise they decided on radio silence. The FBI has tapped all of their phones, and even with Felicity working her magic to give them all a private line to speak on, she suggested they not risk it unless it’s necessary. Sitting here feeling bored and helpless is what Oliver would consider necessary, but he knows Felicity would disagree. 

He looks over at the bed, longingly. His body is so tired. He hasn’t slept in days. Not unless you can count the few times he was knocked unconscious when Malcolm was torturing him for information on where he was hiding the Markov devices. And really, Oliver doesn’t know if that can truly be considered rest. 

He’d laid down for a little bit last night. He’d been trying to get Felicity to sleep since she hadn’t slept since he was kidnapped either and the only way she would lay down was if he did too. However, he couldn’t fall asleep. He’d been too focused on listening for any and all sounds that could possibly be Malcolm. 

To be honest, Oliver is scared out of his mind to face Malcolm again. He’s gone against the Dark Archer twice now and both times, he’s lost miserably. If Malcolm shows up here, Oliver doesn’t know if he’s going to be able to protect Felicity and Tommy. He wants to think he’d find a way, but he just doesn’t see how. He’d assured Felicity two nights ago that he would be able to handle Malcolm and he hadn’t. He’d had his ass handed to him. All of the training he’s done just doesn’t seem to be enough. Not against this. 

Oliver walks over to the bed and lays down. He closes his eyes, but not because he has any intention of sleeping. No. He replays his two fights with Malcolm in his mind. He tries to remember every single move that they’d both made. He searches for a weakness. He tries to look for repetitive moves that might clue him in on Malcolm’s fighting style. The problem is, he just fights with such variety. Just when Oliver thinks he’s able to predict where the next move is coming from, Malcolm changes things up and switches styles. 

He’s good. 

He’s too good. 

Oliver doesn’t know how he’s ever going to be able to best him in a fight. 

His phone rings and Oliver pulls it out of his back pocket as both FBI agents walk into the bedroom without so much as a knock. 

“It’s my mom,” Oliver says, giving them an annoyed look. They’ve already got his phone bugged, do they really need to stand here and watch him take this call? 

“Answer it,” the agent directs him and Oliver has half a mind not to just because it’s what they want him to do. But he won’t do that. It’s his mom and with Malcolm still out there, he won’t take the chance. 

“Hello?” he answers. 

“Ol-Oliver.” 

She sounds weird. The words choked. She’s crying. 

“What’s wrong?” he asks, instantly thinking of a million bad scenarios and ways that he can fight his way out of it. If Malcolm is there, she’ll need to keep him talking. His bike is downstairs, he can be at the mansion in twenty minutes if he really pushes it. 

“He has her,” she says. 

“He has who?” Oliver asks, pushing the agents out of the way and hurrying down the hall to where Felicity is. 

“Oh god,” his mom cries, and he can hear her struggling for breath and the sound sends a chill down his spine. 

“Is he there?” he asks, throwing the bedroom door opening. 

His eyes find Felicity as his mom cries into the phone. Internally, he’s starting to panic. If Malcolm is already at the mansion, there’s a lot of damage that can be done in the time it would take Oliver to arrive. He has to suppress his feelings though. He can’t deal with his emotions right now. He needs to get his mom calm enough to explain what is happening. 

“Mom,” he says, firm but not unkind. “I need you to take a deep breath and tell me. Is he there?” 

He hears her take in a big gasp of air before saying, “No. Thea.” 

It feels as if a hand reaches into his chest and yanks his heart out. Oliver immediately starts shaking his head as he nearly drops the phone. Felicity is at his side in an instant. He can see her hand touching his arm, but he can’t feel it. He can’t feel anything. 

“That’s not possible,” Oliver says. “She’s in New York. Nobody knows where she is but us.” 

Felicity’s surprised gasp hits his ears and she says something to him, but he doesn’t hear it. His heart starts pumping a thousand beats per minute as his lungs feel like they fill with sand. This isn’t happening. Not to Thea. She’s too young. She was never supposed to be involved in any of this. 

“Oliver,” his mom sobs and he wants to have an answer for her, but he doesn't. Words won’t come. 

This wasn’t part of the plan. In all of the doomsday scenarios that Oliver came up with, he never considered the possibility that Malcolm would track down Thea. 

His hands start to shake and he’s desperate for a bow. He needs to be out there. He needs to do something. He needs to stop this. He has to find a way to save her. 

“Who?” Tommy asks. 

“Thea,” Felicity answers for him. 

“No,” Tommy stumbles backwards until his legs hit the bed and he sits down, his head shaking in disbelief. 

There’s commotion behind him. There’s the sound of walkie talkies and orders being given and a general chaos. If they ask him anything, it doesn’t register with Oliver. His mind is fixated on one fact. Malcolm has Thea. 

Malcolm has told his mother for years that he would kill Thea if the truth ever got out, and now she’s missing. 

Oliver shakes his head. How could they have been so naive? They’d been so worried about protecting themselves that they didn’t even consider the fact that Malcolm might be able to find Thea. He’d assumed she was safe simply because she was 3,000 miles away and nobody knew that she’d been admitted into rehab. That was stupid. This is Malcolm Merlyn they are dealing with. Of course he knew. 

“I can’t—” his mom starts to say before she cuts off with another sob. “I can’t, Oliver. I can’t lose her.” 

“You won’t,” Oliver promises before hanging up the phone. 

He doesn’t know where it comes from. He has no way to know if Thea is still alive or if Malcolm has already made good on his threat. He has no way of defeating Malcolm if he can even find out where he has Thea. Still, he promises. He can’t lose his baby sister. He won’t. 

If he has to turn over the Markov devices in order to insure Thea’s safety, that’s what he’ll do. He just needs Thea back. 

“We are leaving,” Oliver tells Felicity. 

He doesn’t wait for her response. He takes her hand and pushes his way past all of the officers now in the apartment. They call after him, but he ignores them. They try and stop him, but he yanks his arms out of their grip and pulls them off of Felicity as well. When he opens the front door, they start running. If there are officers chasing after him, he doesn’t care. He has to get to the bunker. Felicity has to find Malcolm and this has to end. Now. 

“Oliver,” Felicity says sharply as they rush down the stairs. He catches her as she nearly falls. 

“Keep running.” 

Images of Malcolm with his hands around Thea’s throat flash through his mind and push him to run faster. 

“We aren’t going to outrun the police,” she says through gritted teeth. She yanks her hand out of his. 

“We will,” he says sharply. 

Oliver has learned that there’s very little he’s incapable of when he’s backed into a corner with no apparent exit. This has to work because they don’t have another option. Failure means losing Thea and he’s not prepared for that. 

“No,” she says. “ _ You _ will. Go.” 

Oliver stops running long enough to look at her. 

“I’ll meet you there,” she says as the sound of several footsteps can be heard above them. The police aren’t that far away. They only have another second or two. 

“Go,” she says, giving him a pleading look. 

Oliver doesn’t want to leave. He needs Felicity. She’s the only one who has the capability of finding Malcolm. But he also knows how to weigh the odds, and Felicity is a lot of things, but she isn’t fast. She doesn’t run. Her idea of exercise is walking to the pizza joint on the corner by her apartment. He can stay here with her and let them get caught, or he can leave her behind and try to save Thea. 

“You have to make it, I need you,” he says in a rush. 

“Go,” she says, nodding, as she pushes him down the stairs. 

He doesn’t have time to debate. He has to trust that Felicity will find another way out. Trust isn’t usually something Oliver does well, but he’s learning and if there’s one person he’s always been able to rely on, it’s her. 

He nods and takes off running, this time much faster without Felicity trailing behind him. He takes the stairs two, sometimes three, at a time. When it sounds like the police are catching up to him, he starts parkouring over the railing and down entire flights of stairs. He manages to make it down the final flight without them catching up with him. He knows, if he can just make it to his bike, he’ll be home free. He can outrun anything on his bike. 

“Mr. Queen, stop where you are,” he hears somebody call after him from a megaphone as he barrels through the door to the parking garage. 

Oliver doesn’t bother stopping. They aren’t going to shoot at him. He’s not the criminal here. They don’t actually have any legal right to hold him. However, he’s prepared nonetheless. He dodges between pillars and cars, making sure that he never makes himself an open, easy target. 

“Mr. Queen, we want to help you. Stop.”

Oliver can see his bike. He continues running, ducking, and covering as he pulls the keys out of his pocket so they are at the ready. 

“Oliver!” somebody yells, but he ignores it. It’s not Tommy or Felicity and at this point, anyone else is irrelevant to him. His sister needs him. He’s the reason she’s in this mess, he has to save her. 

Oliver jumps on his bike and shoves the key into the ignition to turn it on. Within seconds, he’s peeling out of his spot and speeding towards the exit. 

A police car is blocking the main exit as several officers stand outside and try fruitlessly to wave him down. As if he simply just hadn’t heard them or noticed them before. He squeezes his bike through the narrow opening between the parking attendants booth and the cement and races up the ramp and out onto the street. There are several police cars parked outside the building with their lights on, but nobody is inside. He’s guessing that all of them had been too busy rushing up to the apartment to put together a plan. They hadn’t anticipated him leaving. 

Oliver’s learned that the best advantage is being unpredictable. 

He rushes through the streets, dodging traffic and running red lights. He’s determined to get back to the foundry to… 

Yeah. He hasn’t figured out a plan beyond suiting up. He’s going to need one. Something better than his usual punch first, ask questions later. This isn’t just another name on the list. This is  _ the _ name on the list. 

Going to the foundry is necessary. He needs to get his suit and more importantly, his bow. After that, things will be tricky. He could head to New York. His family’s jet is always on standby, but Oliver sincerely doubts that Malcolm would be stupid enough to still be in New York after kidnapping Thea. 

He needs to find out where Malcolm would take her. 

Oliver barely misses a truck crossing through an intersection at the same time. He swerves to avoid the truck then again to avoid running into pedestrians on the sidewalk. Once he rights himself again, he continues the path to the foundry on autopilot. 

Malcolm has properties all over the world. Felicity is right. He could easily slip away to a country that has no extradition laws. It would be the smart thing to do. Granted, just because the law can’t get to him beyond certain borders, doesn’t mean Oliver can’t. He, too, has powerful friends around the world. Friends who owe him favors that he won’t hesitate to call in. 

If he has to call Waller, he will. He doesn’t care what he’ll owe her in return. 

Then again, Malcolm is a smug motherfucker. He wouldn’t want to just take Thea, he’d want to rub their faces in it. He’d stick around to celebrate his victory. He’s probably cocky enough to assume he can still come out of all of this with a win. 

Malcolm might still try to negotiate for the Markov Devices. FBI be damned, Malcolm is probably going to continue to try and salvage The Undertaking. 

And if that’s Malcolm’s plan, he’ll want to be stateside. He’ll want to stay close. 

So how close would he stay? 

Oliver takes a sharp left and soon he’s out of they heavy traffic of downtown and turning into the Glades. The streets are a bit wider and there are less cars on the street. He knows these streets like the back of his hand. He kicks up the speed even more, estimating that he’s only a minute or two out. 

Coming back to Starling is suicide. Too many people are looking for him. No matter how incompetent the police force and FBI might be, what they lack in cunning, they make up for in numbers. Even Malcolm wouldn’t be able to hide in Starling right now. 

So the real question is, what locations just outside of the city might Malcolm try to hide? 

Oliver pulls behind the foundry and hides his bike in a deserted alley behind some dumpsters that never get used. He then sneaks in through the side entrance he’d had installed once Verdant had been built. 

“Digg?” Oliver calls out as he descends the steps into the bunker. When he doesn’t hear his partner call back, he knows he’s alone. 

The first thing he does is go straight for the computers. He may not be Felicity Smoak, MIT prodigy, but he isn’t completely inept. ARGUS made sure of that. He sits down at her desk and loads up the program she created for facial recognition. It’s not the program he’s most familiar with, but he’s seen her use it enough times that he can figure it out. He loads up a picture of Malcolm that’s been circulating through the news and uploads it into the program. He fumbles around for a bit, but eventually a search begins to run, searching for Malcolm anywhere within 500 miles. 

Content that the search is working, he sits back in his chair and pulls out his phone. By now the FBI are most definitely watching his phone specifically, but he has faith that the security measures Felicity put in place will hold. He dials Digg’s number. 

“Are you actively trying to get yourself added to the FBI’s Most Wanted List?” Digg asks in lieu of a greeting when he picks up. 

“I wasn’t a prisoner. They were there for our protection and I have a right to refuse it,” he grumbles. He has more pressing concerns at the moment. 

“There’s refusing protection, then there’s flat out running from the FBI and making yourself look like a criminal,” Digg says. 

“Are they looking to arrest me?” he asks, not really caring if they are or not. Frankly, they can do whatever they hell they want. They just need to wait until after he finds Thea. 

“No. Felicity talked them down and convinced them that you were just desperate to see your mother and find your sister,” Digg says. “She’s on her way by they way. Felicity.” 

Oliver breathes a sigh of relief. Felicity will be a lot more helpful in tracking down Malcolm than he is. 

“I can’t lose her, Digg,” he says, staring up at the ceiling as he tries to erase the image of Thea crying out for help while Malcolm tortures her. He shouldn’t be thinking of all the things Malcolm could possibly be doing to her at this very moment. That’s not productive. He needs to focus on the mission. 

“We’ll find her,” Digg promises, but Oliver knows that it’s just as empty as the promise he gave his mother. There’s no guarantee that Thea is even still alive. 

“Hey, don’t go there, not yet,” Digg says. Oliver often wonders how it is that the man can know him so well if Oliver’s always careful to keep things close to the chest. “If Malcolm had already killed her, he’d have let us know about it. He’d rub our faces in it. We’re going to find her before that happens.” 

Oliver takes a shuddering breath before he forces those emotions to the back of his mind. He can’t afford to get caught up in grief right now. Grief and despair isn’t going to beat Malcolm. What Oliver needs is rage. And thankfully, that’s something he always has in spades. 

“Tell me you’ve found something,  _ anything _ ,” Oliver says. At this point, he’ll take any sliver of a lead. With a lead, he can hit the streets and start beating information out of people. 

“Give me an hour,” Digg says. “I called in a favor and I’m on my way to see if an old military friend was able to track down anything. I’ll let you know what she’s found.” 

Oliver doesn’t bother telling him that he both knows who “she” is because he did an extensive background check on Diggle before he asked him to join the team. Nor does he mention that he could have gone straight to Amanda Waller herself and probably gotten more accurate information than Lyla Michaels would be able to get. Neither comment would find Thea any faster and Oliver would rather people don’t know about his history with ARGUS. 

“Let me know,” Oliver says before hanging up. 

Oliver looks over his shoulder to make sure that Felicity hasn’t somehow magically snuck in, then he pulls up the ARGUS database and logs in using his old credentials. Waller’s never taken him out of the system. Oliver knows it's because she’s still convinced that he’s one of her operatives and he lets her believe that because he’s always known that one day he’d need to call in a favor. That day is now. No matter what Waller will ask for in return, it will be worth it to get Thea back. 

While virtually all of his old security clearances have been revoked and searching anything is nearly impossible, he at least has access to the secure email server. He opens up a new draft and sends Waller a message that he needs information on Malcolm’s whereabouts immediately. As soon as it’s sent, he logs out of ARGUS entirely and flips the screen back to the facial recognition search. 

There’s a click at the top of the stairs, and a moment later the door swings open and the sound of heels rushing down the stairs can be heard. 

“Oliver?!” Felicity calls after him. 

“I’m down here,” he says, turning to look as she runs the rest of the way down the stairs and over to him. 

“I’m here, I’m here,” she says pushing him out of the way to get to her computers. “I…” 

She looks at the monitor in confusion before turning to look at him. “Did you do this?” she asks pointing to the facial recognition search that he has running.  

“I’m not completely useless,” he says, defensively. “In case you forgot, I did manage to hack Adam Hunt’s bank account before you joined the team.” 

Felicity raises her eyebrows like she doesn’t quite believe him before she turns back to her computer. “I’m going to run a few more searches to see if I can’t find him. Why don’t you go see your mom in the meantime? I’m sure she’s worried.” 

“No,” Oliver says. “I’m not going to waste time gallivanting all over the city while Thea is out there with that maniac. I am leaving the second we have even the slightest bit of intel.” 

“Okay...” Felicity says, and while he can tell she wants to say more, she doesn’t. For that, he’s grateful. 

He heads over to pull his suit out of the trunk and begins changing. He wants to be ready to leave the moment they have something. When his suit is on, he walks back over to stand behind Felicity and watch her work, too anxious to do anything else. 

“If you want to talk—” 

“No,” Oliver cuts her off before she can finish. “We aren’t talking about this right now.” 

Felicity turns around to give him a knowing look. “I’m just saying, if—” 

“No,” he says sharply. He can’t talk about this. He can’t be Oliver right now. It would be so easy to curl up in her arms and cry about how terrified he is of losing his sister, but he can’t. Thea doesn’t need her brother. She needs The Hood. 

An alert sounds on the computer and Felicity turns around quickly to see what’s been found. She types away furiously until an email comes up. Oliver reads over her shoulder as his hands curl up into fists. Apparently, they found the man Malcolm had paid to track down Thea. 

Oliver picks his bow up off of the counter and calls over his shoulder, “Tell me if you find anything. I’m going to go get information the old fashioned way.” 

When Oliver is halfway up the stairs and chances a glance back at Felicity, she just nods at him. No lecture on finding a better way or letting the justice system do its job. Because really, he can see that she understands. All of that went out the window the moment Malcolm involved Thea in this. 


	2. Friday

**Friday**

“You need to try and sleep,” Felicity tells him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. He stands up, needing to put some distance between them as he throws his hands out to the side in pure frustration. 

“I can’t sleep!” Oliver yells. He’s itching all over with a need to do something. His failure sits heavy in his bones. He doesn’t deserve comfort right now. Every touch is a reminder that he wasn’t supposed to care about people. The people he loves always die. 

“She’s still out there!” he yells again, causing Digg to step in to intervene, but Felicity just waves him off.

It’s been a long night for all of them. None of them have slept as Oliver and Digg stayed out on the streets chasing after the smallest of leads and Felicity pursued every known measure of tracking a person down. 

Now, the sun is rising on a new day and they still have no idea where Thea is. Oliver is supposed to be better than this. What is the point of surviving all of those years of hell if he can’t take down the man who murdered his father, marooned him on a island, and kidnapped his little sister? 

“I’m going to train, tell me when you find something,” he says, needing to hit something. Hard. 

Felicity reaches out and grabs his wrist as he goes to step away. He just barely resists the urge to yank his hand out of hers. It’s not Felicity’s fault they haven’t found Malcolm yet. It’s his. If he had just taken Malcolm down earlier, he never would have had the opportunity to take Thea. 

“You’re no good to Thea exhausted,” Felicity explains carefully. “You haven’t slept in 3 days.” 

“That’s not true,” he argues and Felicity glares at him. 

“Being knocked unconscious by Malcolm doesn’t count, Oliver,” she says firmly and his eyes instantly move to the ground in shame. He doesn’t need a reminder that Malcolm has already bested him in not one, but two fights. 

“And even if it did,” she continues. “It’s still been close to 40 hours since then. Go. To. Sleep.”

Rationally, he knows that she’s right. He can barely see straight he’s so tired. In fact, they’d had to come in because Oliver had gotten himself shot by some low-level lackey. It was a flesh wound, the bullet barely grazed him, but still. It shouldn’t have happened. It wouldn’t have happened if he hadn't been nearly dead on his feet. He can’t fight Malcolm like this. He can barely fight Malcolm at full strength. 

He can’t imagine crawling into bed though while Thea is still out there. He doesn’t deserve to rest. 

“We need to keep looking,” he orders, grabbing his shirt off of the table and throwing it back on. 

“Oliver!” Felicity says, but he ignores her as he pulls on his jacket. 

“Felicity is right,” Digg says. “You can’t go out there like this. Besides, the sun is up. Walking around in green leather in the middle of the day is just asking to be arrested, and then where will Thea be? Get some rest and we’ll start again in a few hours.” 

“A few hours?!” he yells, feeling nearly hysterical. “Do you have any idea how much can happen in a few hours? My sister is out there right now, probably being tortured by a psychopath and you want me to just give it a few hours?” 

“There are no more leads!” Felicity yells, putting her hands on his shoulders. “There’s nobody left to beat up! Okay?”

Oliver stops moving and looks down at her. She takes a deep breath and he finds himself doing so as well. 

“We all want to find Thea,” she says, calmly this time. “But we are exhausted and none of us are getting anywhere. We will never find her like this. What we all need right now is to take a step back, get some rest, and approach the problem again with fresh eyes.” 

Oliver closes his eyes tightly as he tries not to cry. He’s been pushing his emotions down hard, shoving them into a box to store in the farthest corners of his mind. He hasn’t stopped since he found out about Thea. He’s kept his head up and his eyes forward. But stopping means letting the events of the last several hours catch up with him and they slam into him hard. All he can see is Thea laying on a dark, cold, cement floor, bruised and broken. 

His hand reaches out for his bow. He’s ready to ignore their advice and start running again but Digg yanks it away before his hand can close around it. 

“Don’t get in my way,” Oliver warns, fixing Digg with his deadliest glare. He doesn’t want to, but he will put Digg down if he has to. 

“I have no problem sedating you if it comes to it,” Digg says. “Listen to your girlfriend and go lay down.” 

Oliver’s hands curl into fists and he’s about to throw a punch in order to get his bow back, but Felicity steps between them. She has a syringe in her hand and that determined look in her eyes that means she won’t back down for anything. She points towards the back of the bunker where a cot is set up. 

“Go. To. Bed,” she says firmly. “By choice or not, you are going to rest. I don’t want to have to drug you, but you know me well enough to know that I sure as hell will.” 

His eyes go back and forth between Digg and Felicity. Neither of them look like they will back down anytime soon. And the truth is, he knows they are right. He can’t help Thea like this. He can barely help Thea at full strength. 

“One hour,” he relents. His shoulders drop and all the fight leaves his body. 

“Six,” she says, taking his hand and gently walking him towards the cot. 

Oliver scoffs. “No way in hell.” 

“Fine, four,” she says. “But I swear to god, you go out there on any less than four full hours of sleep and I will break your bow in half.” 

Oliver doesn’t doubt that she’ll do just that. He nods in agreement as she guides him to sit down on the cot. Felicity sinks to her knees in order to unlace his boots. As the first one slides off of his foot, he vividly hears his mother crying on the phone as she tells him that Thea’s been taken. As she slides off the second boot, he squeezes his eyes shut as he hears Thea whisper into his ear, “I missed you so much.” 

Oliver’s hands curl into tight fists as his nails dig into his palms. It’s a trick that Maseo taught him to keep him grounded in reality. He focuses on the pain in his hands and not the overwhelming realization that he did Thea no favors by returning home. From that very first moment she came running down the stairs and into his arms, he sealed her fate. 

Felicity’s hands slide up to his leg and she begins to remove the holster at his thigh. The sound of the buckle being undone registers as a gunshot and he jumps, his eyes flying around the room, searching for their attacker as his brain sees Thea dead on the floor with a gunshot wound to the head. 

“Shhhh,” Felicity whispers to his softly, capturing his face between her hands and forcing him to look at her. “It was just me. It’s okay. Try to relax.” 

The air feels thin. He struggles to take in a breath. 

“Oliver, count to ten with me,” she says. 

He shakes his head. This isn’t right. Something’s wrong. 

“One...” 

Oliver can see Thea clearly as a little girl. She used to chase him around the yard. She was always so fast. His little Speedy. 

“Two…” 

She’s not little anymore. She’s nearly grown. He can see her all dressed up, 17 going on 30. She’s smiling at him, teasing him as only she can. She wants the world to see her as tough, but she still has the kindest, gentlest heart. 

“Three…” 

She’s out there somewhere. Chained up, terrified, and needing him so desperately. 

“Four…” 

He has to get up, he has to find her. He moves to stand up, but Felicity’s grip on him is firm and she’s a lot stronger than Oliver has ever given her credit for. That or he really is that worn out. 

“Five…” 

Malcolm is going to kill her and he’s powerless to stop it. He may have already done so. 

“Six…” 

Oliver sucks in a deep breath, his body screaming out for oxygen as his vision blurs and his brain grows foggy. 

“Seven…” 

He takes several more deep breaths as he begins to sob. He can’t push his fear into perfectly organized boxes. Not anymore. Every emotion he’s ever felt comes tumbling out of their containers and he feels everything all at once. 

“Eight…” 

Oliver shakes his head and tries to push Felicity away. He doesn’t want this. He needs the suit. He needs to pull his hood up and disappear into the monster. He isn’t ready to feel any of this. Felicity’s grip on him remains firm. 

“Nine…” 

Oliver tries to get his breathing under control. He forces his body to take slower breathes as his lungs burn. 

“Ten.” 

Felicity’s forehead comes to rest against his own and she whispers reassurances to him as he continues to slow down his breathing. After what feels like several minutes, Felicity’s hand goes to the zipper of his jacket. She’s just barely started to unzip it when his hand reaches out to stop her. 

“I’m not ready,” he tells her quietly. It comes out too much of a plea for his liking. 

“Oliver,” she says carefully. “You have to let yourself be human sometimes.” 

He shakes his head, holding her hand still. 

“Bottling up your emotions and hiding behind your hood all the time isn’t healthy. If you don’t let yourself be Oliver every once in awhile, you explode. Relax. Grieve. You can put the hood back on when you wake up.” 

Oliver doesn’t say anything, but he also doesn’t stop her when she continues to unzip his jacket. When she’s done, she pushes it off of his shoulders and places it to the side. He feels oddly naked without the hood, but he trusts Felicity enough to push past the anxiety. 

“Stand up,” she says. 

He obeys and she unzips his pants and pulls them off as well. When he’s down to just his boxers and undershirt, she guides him into bed. 

“You’re going to keep looking for her,” he says. It’s a statement, not a question. He needs to know that somebody is still working, even if he’s had to throw in the towel for the time being. 

She shakes her head. He’s about to protest, but she holds her finger to his lips. 

“I’m going to take care of the best chance we have of finding her,” she says, nudging him to the side as she crawls into bed with him. 

It’s not right. He shouldn’t be down here seeking comfort from Felicity while Thea is out there alone and scared. He’s going to protest. His words are already planned out. However, his body has different plans. The moment it registers that he’s in bed, he’s out. 

****

Oliver stirs as the thin mattress on the cot moves beneath him and the chill of the bunker hits his skin. He opens his eyes to find Felicity crawling out of bed, mumbling to herself. 

“No, no, no.” 

She’s frantic as she rushes across the bunker towards her computers, already furiously typing away at her phone. Oliver sits up in bed and tries to shake the last remnants of sleep away. He blames it on the sheer exhaustion, but it takes him a moment to remember where they are and why they are here. 

The second his brain catches up, he’s out of bed and rushing to her side, terrified that they’ve found Thea and the news isn’t good. He expects to find a news alert that Thea’s body has been discovered. What he’s not expecting to see is a story on SCNN of another kidnapping. 

“Tommy,” Felicity cries, falling back against him. He has to wrap his arms around her to keep her from sliding to the ground. 

Tommy’s picture is currently taking up the entire screen as the headline reads “Missing.” 

Felicity is shaking as she turns in his arms and buries her face in his chest. Instinctively, Oliver begins rubbing her back in comfort, but he is struggling to make sense of it all. It’s not possible. It doesn’t make any sense. 

Tommy had been with the FBI right here in Starling. To take him, Malcolm would have had to sneak back into the city without anyone noticing as well as figure out how to get past several FBI agents. While Oliver knows that there are several ways to have slipped past the FBI agents guarding Tommy, what shocks him is that Malcolm would have been able to slip back into the city. All entry and exits into the city are supposed to be guarded. There are mandatory checkpoints and all airports have been closed down in the manhunt for Merlyn. 

How did Tommy get kidnapped from right under their noses? And how did Oliver let this happen? 

“We should have told him,” Felicity says, pulling back away from him and wiping her eyes. “I told you that we should have told him. He could have been down here with us. Safe.” 

Oliver opens his mouth to defend himself, but he can’t. He’d purposefully not told Tommy his secret because he was scared that it would put Tommy in danger. But she’s right. Not knowing his secret has put him at even greater risk. 

He grabs his phone from where it’s been charging on Felicity’s desk. He dials Tommy’s number and begs his friend to pick up. It goes straight to voicemail. 

He calls his number again. “Come on, come on,” he whispers. 

Again, it goes straight to voicemail. Oliver continues to call, needing a miracle to happen. With each failed attempt to contact Tommy, Oliver feels the dread settle into his veins. 

“Oliver…” 

“Dammit!” he screams. Oliver throws the phone across the bunker and it hits the wall, shattering into several pieces. 

“What do we do?” she asks. 

At the sound of her chair rolling, he turns to look at her. She’s slumped into her seat and is staring blankly ahead, a look of utter devastation on her face. Seeing the usual light of optimism around her completely diminished is enough to snap him back to reality. He stands taller and squares his shoulders. This isn’t the time to give up. This is the time to push back harder than ever. 

“No,” he says, crouching down to look her in the eyes. He places his hands on her thighs, hoping that it helps to ground her as much as it grounds him. “Tommy hasn’t been missing for long. We know that Malcolm had to kidnap Tommy from the apartment, so we know where he was. We can find him.” 

Felicity looks up at the ceiling for a moment, taking a deep breath, before she too squares her shoulders and puts her game face on. 

“Okay,” she says, pulling her chair back over to her desk. She wipes her face with her sleeve then starts typing away furiously. She pulls up Tommy’s picture and begins running a third facial recognition search on him. If they haven’t been able to catch Malcolm or Thea on camera, maybe they’ll catch Tommy. Eventually, Malcolm is bound to make a mistake with so many balls in the air. 

Oliver watches her for another moment to make sure that she’s okay, before he goes to pull his suit back on. He wants to be ready the moment they have news. At this point, every second is critical. 

“Oliver?” Felicity calls out to him as he rubs more grease paint over his face. He looks up. “He wouldn’t kill him, right?” 

“No,” he lies, with what he hopes is a comforting smile. “Malcolm is a lot of things, but he wouldn’t kill his own son.” 

He doesn’t believe it. At this point, there’s very little that he truly believes Malcolm is incapable of. Oliver is terrified that murder is exactly what Malcolm had in mind when he kidnapped Thea and Tommy. Malcolm has been planning The Undertaking for years and in a matter of days, all of his plans have crumbled to the ground. He has no doubt that Malcolm is going to get even, no matter the cost. 

Oliver turns his back to Felicity so that she won’t see how scared he truly is. They never should have let Tommy go to the FBI. They’d backed Malcolm into a corner and made him desperate. And Oliver knows, better than anyone, there’s nothing more dangerous than a desperate man with nothing left to lose. 

“Oh my god,” Felicity says. Oliver turns back around to see her look of horror. “Ten FBI agents were murdered in my apartment early this morning when Tommy was taken. They were all killed with green arrows.” 

“He’s trying to frame me,” Oliver says, shaking his head. “Does he really think that anyone is going to buy that The Hood kidnapped Tommy when his dad clearly has it out for him?” 

“They might if people think you did it to lure Malcolm out of hiding. And even if they don’t, spending time having to rule you out as a suspect ties up the investigation,” Felicity says. “Not to mention the fact that he’s trying to get into your head.” 

“He already did that by taking Thea and then Tommy,” he says. “But if he thinks I’m going to curl up in a ball of grief and surrender, he doesn’t know me very well. When I get pushed, I push back.” 

“I should have a lead soon,” Felicity says, looking back at her monitors as she continues to type away. 

He busies himself with replenishing his quiver and organizing all of his different trick arrows so that he’ll be able to easily grab the ones he needs without thinking about it. Every so often, she’ll call out her various findings, but so far, nothing she’s found is anything he can make a move on. 

Digg finds his way back to the bunker eventually, looking well rested and ready to take on the world. It’s good. Oliver is going to need all the help he can get. The two of them talk strategy in how to best take down Malcolm when they eventually find him. Oliver is hopeful that a two on one approach will be more successful than his previous attempts, because they don’t have any other option but success. If Thea and Tommy are going to make it home alive, they have to beat the Dark Archer. 

“Yes!” Felicity eventually calls out and Oliver and Digg rush to her side. “I was able to track Malcolm down to a private airstrip. Video footage confirms that Tommy and he got onto a private jet at 6:49 this morning. The jet then landed in Coast City at 7:58 and they got off. I did some digging and Tommy’s mom’s family owned a vacation home in the area that was sold several years ago to a man named Arthur King.” 

“Let me guess…” Oliver says, already seeing where this is going. 

“No guessing,” she teases, holding up her finger. “You already get the takedown. I do the research, so I get to do the big reveal.” 

Oliver gestures for her to continue, urging her to go faster so that he can get an address out of her. 

“May I present to you, Arthur King,” Felicity says, pulling up a photograph of a man that is undoubtedly Malcolm Merlyn in his youth. “Apparently Arthur King filed to legally have his name changed in 1980 and then destroyed all records of Arthur King… And if you don’t think I’m going to continue to pull on that string while you guys head to Coast City, you’re sorely mistaken.” 

“Felicity, I love you. You’re amazing,” he says quickly, starting to lose his patience as anxiety causes his heart to beat faster. This is the first truly promising lead that they’ve had since Thea was taken. “The address.” 

“Already sent to your GPS and I’ve ordered the family jet for you. Takeoff is schedule in thirty minutes, just enough time to pack your gear and get to the airstrip,” she tells him with a smile. 

He leans down to give her a kiss. She reaches up to wrap her arms around his neck when he tries to pull away.” 

“Please be safe,” she says, looking up at him with worry. 

“I’m going to bring Thea and Tommy back, I promise,” he says, careful not to promise that he’ll make it back home to her. That’s not something he can say when he’s going against an enemy he hasn’t figured out how to defeat. 

Felicity’s arms drop and move to wrap around her body like she’s trying to protect herself. Clearly she heard the words that he didn’t say, and he wants to reassure her, but he doesn’t want to lie. He’s never broken a promise to her if he could help it and he won’t start now. 

“I’ll watch his back,” Digg promises her for him. “Tell us if you find anything else that can be of use.” 

Felicity nods, giving them both a tight smile. “Good luck.” 

****

“They’re not here, Felicity!” he calls out in anger as he kicks against the back door of the house and it goes flying open. He then punches a hole through the drywall. They’ve searched the entire house and there isn’t a sign of them anywhere. 

“Hold on. I’m hacking into a nearby satellite to try and get thermal scanners,” she tells him. 

He just barely resists the urge to tell her to move quicker. He’s losing his patience. He’s been holding onto a strand of sanity the entire plane ride to Coast City. And that lone strand was only there because he had been so sure that they were about to find Tommy and Thea and this nightmare could end. However, now that his hopes are turning out to be nothing more than sand slipping through his fingers, he’s starting to feel that familiar anxiety vibrating through his entire body. 

“Pulling up thermal imaging now…” she says, talking him through the steps she’s taking. “I am counting… Frak.” 

“They’re not here!” he calls out, knowing that he’d been right. There isn’t a magic trap door. He’s not going to turn the corner and see his sister sitting patiently in a chair waiting for him. Whatever lead they had on Malcolm, it’s gone. 

“Okay, well, we still know that they got off the plane in Coast City,” she says. “They have to be somewhere.” 

“Do we know that?” Digg asks over the comms from where he’d been searching the front of the house for hidden doors. 

“We have video footage of them getting off the plane,” she says. “And that plane is still sitting at the tarmac.” 

“And we are sure that footage is correct?” Digg asks. 

“You think he doctored the footage and uploaded it to the server to trick you into going to Coast City? Oh my god. What if he doctored the footage and uploaded it to the server to trick you into going to Coast City,” she says. “I’m so dumb. I didn’t even think to check that. I mean, the level of computer skills that you would need to have in order to pull that off in a believable way to make it look real to even me… I didn’t even think…” 

“Damnit!” Oliver calls out. “This is a huge waste of time!” 

“Nonsense,” Malcolm’s voice cuts through their intercoms and Oliver instantly raises his bow and turns around, looking for any sign of movement. “I for one found this excursion of yours to be quite productive.” 

“Where are Tommy and Thea?!” Digg calls out, but Oliver has a more pressing concern. Malcolm drew them away from they city for a reason and he’s speaking to them over their private comm system. 

“Felicity?” he calls out, terrified that Malcolm’s gotten to her. 

“Oh, don’t worry Oliver. I’ll get Felicity, but now is not that time,” Malcolm says. 

“Oliver—” Felicity says, but Malcolm cuts her off. 

“Hush, Ms. Smoak,” Malcolm says. “I’m threatening here.” 

“Who?” Oliver asks, carefully pushing down his rage. He knows that Malcolm has to have gotten to somebody else and he’s ready to tear the world to the ground to stop him, but rage won’t serve him now. He needs to keep Malcolm talking to get as much information as he can. 

“I think I’ll let her tell you herself,” Malcolm says.

A second later, a cry comes over the comms. “Oliver.” 

“Mom!” he calls out as his heart stops beating. She sounds utterly terrified. 

“It’s not possible,” Felicity says, the sounds of her hands flying across the keyboard are loud and clear. “You’re in Coast City.” 

Digg steps into the kitchen and stands next to him, neither of them really sure what to do but listen in and hope that Malcolm gives them something to go on. 

“Well, somebody is in Coast City, it’s just, unfortunately, not me,” Malcolm says. “I will say, I was rather impressed with you, Ms. Smoak. I knew you were good. After all, you’ve made my company a lot of money. However, I was positive that I destroyed any reference to my past. I’m not sure how you managed to find out my real name. Well done. It’s a shame I’m going to have to kill you. So much talent in such a beautiful body.” 

“Gross,” Felicity says. 

“Where’s my mom?” Oliver demands, not allowing himself to process the threat just made against Felicity. He’s already drowning just trying to figure out how to save his mom, sister, and best friend. He has to trust that Felicity will be able to take care of herself. She’s safe in the bunker. The security she put in place there is impenetrable. 

“Tsk, tsk,” Malcolm clicks his tongue. “Now I know that you’re new to this, Oliver. However, you can’t be stupid enough to think that is how it’s going to work.” 

“What do you want?” he asks as rage continues to boil inside of him and he feels like he’s about to explode with it. 

“The device,” Malcolm says firmly. 

“Don’t, Oliver!” Digg warns. “He’ll kill everyone anyway.” 

There’s the sound of scuffling and then his mom whimpers and calls out for help. 

“Shall I cut off her ear and send it to you like they do in the Bratva?” Malcolm asks and Oliver hears what sounds like the switch of a blade. “Yeah… I can do research too, Kapiushon. See, this is how it’s going to work. You’re going to tell me where you hid the device. Then, if you’re lucky, I won’t kill everyone that you love.” 

Oliver rubs his hand over his face and he struggles to find a solution to this problem. There has to be a way to stop this. There is always a way. Even in the most difficult situations, he’s always found a way. This can’t be the war he loses. There is too much at stake. 

“We are going to need more of a guarantee than that,” Digg says. 

“You aren’t really in a position to bargain Mr. Diggle,” Malcolm says. 

“We have something you want. You have something we want. That’s the very definition of bargain,” Felicity says. “You’re not getting the device. Not without a guarantee that Tommy, Thea, and Moira are okay and will be returned to us unharmed.” 

“See, now that’s going to be difficult,” Malcolm says with a laugh. “Because I’ve already harmed all of them.” 

Oliver pictures Thea and Tommy, chained up and beaten beyond recognition. He pictures his mother at Malcolm’s feet with a blade to her throat. Oliver’s going to be sick. 

“You bastard!” Felicity calls out. “You’re going to rot in hell. That’s your son!” 

“And he betrayed me!” Malcolm yells, sounding unhinged. 

His mom continues to whimper in the background and the sound hits Oliver like a thousand sharp blades to the heart. 

There is no victory in this situation. There is only the path of least destruction. 

“You’re never going to get those devices—” Felicity starts to argue, but Oliver cuts her off. 

“I shipped them to Japan,” he says. 

“Oliver!” Digg and Felicity both say. 

“What was that?” Malcolm asks, sounding amused. 

Oliver wishes that he was standing right in front of him so he could punch the smug grin off of his face, but he’s not. And Oliver is all out of other cards to play. 

“I shipped the devices to Japan,” he says. “Now, tell me where I can find my mom, sister, and Tommy and I’ll give you an exact address.” 

Malcolm laughs. “Oliver… You were always so pretty, but never that bright.” 

Oliver’s blood turns to ice as he realizes that Malcolm has no intention of ever making a trade. 

“You can’t possibly know that many people in Japan,” Malcolm continues. “Why would I throw back my prize catches when you just told me how to find my devices?” 

“Malcolm!” he yells. 

“Have a good day, Oliver.” 

And with that, their comms go dead. 


	3. Saturday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a brief mention of suicidal fantasies. If that is something that triggers you, I suggest skipping the second scene of this story (after the ***).

**Saturday**

Oliver is sitting in Felicity’s chair with her on his lap, resting his head against her shoulder as she leans back against him. She’s staring at her screens, but he can’t look anymore. He’s starting to lose any hope of her searches ever finding any answers. It’s been eighteen hours since they last heard from Malcolm and a little over sixteen since Oliver and Digg returned from their naive rescue mission in Coast City. It’s been nearly an entire day later and they aren’t any closer to finding Thea, Tommy, and his mom than they were before. 

All the searches in the world haven’t returned even a speck of information on Malcolm’s current whereabouts. Sure, Felicity’s uncovered a whole lot of information about Malcolm’s past, but nothing that points them towards where he might be hiding out now. Not that Oliver is surprised. A little over ten hours ago, Felicity traced Malcolm back to a group that Oliver’s only ever heard rumors about — The League of Assassins. Maseo used to talk about them. If even half of the things that he’s heard from Maseo are true, then Oliver isn’t sure that they have any hope of finding them. Not until Malcolm wants them found. 

Oliver feels like he’s going to be sick again. He’s already thrown up twice. Once when Felicity uncovered a picture of one of Malcolm’s old victims from his days working with the League of Assassins. And then again when he looked at the crime scene photos from Queen Manor when Felicity was in the bathroom. Felicity had been right. He shouldn't have looked. Oliver has seen a lot of horrible things in his life. He’s committed a great deal of those awful things. However, it’s completely different when it’s his family that is missing and their dead bodies that he keeps imagining. 

His fingers flex against Felicity’s hips as another image of his mom, nearly unrecognizable, assaults him. This time, he pictures her with most of her skin removed and Anatoly is standing in front of her, a look of shock on his face. He’s repeating the same words he said to him last year, “This is not human.” It’s laced with disgust. The difference is, this time, Oliver feels the words at his core. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Felicity says, her hands going to his wrist and squeezing them in comfort. 

Oliver shakes his head. It’s not okay. None of this is okay. 

He hears a gunshot and is shocked to find that Felicity is no longer there. Instead, there’s a rifle in his hand. He drops it immediately and it falls to the floor, but not before he hears screaming across the street. His eyes scan the skyline and he sucks in a deep breath when he processes what’s just happened. 

As soon as he realizes it, Tommy is at his feet staring up at him with lifeless eyes. There is a single bullet wound coming from his forehead. He never stood a chance. 

Maseo is patting him on the back like he’s just done something right, but all he can feel is the immense guilt pressing down on his stomach making him nauseous. 

“Oliver,” Felicity whispers, but to Oliver can only hear Tatsu’s voice. 

“What have you done?” Tatsu asks, and when he looks up at her, she’s horrified.

He looks down at the floor and Thea is laying there with two arrows in her chest, her face beaten badly. There’s a hammer in his hand that he stares at in confusion. 

“Oliver, please look at me,” Felicity says as her hands go to his face. 

He squeezes his eyes shut tight, unwilling to meet her gaze. He doesn’t want her to see him like this. She’s always been able to see right through him and if she looks at him, she’s going to see the truth. 

A hand reaches out to touch his shoulder and he jumps. When he opens his eyes, Tommy, Thea, and his mom are standing in front of him. Each of them have a green arrow through their chests and are watching him, confused and betrayed. 

“I didn’t want this,” he whispers. 

“You brought this darkness into our lives,” Thea says, shaking her head and looking at him like she doesn’t recognize him anymore. 

“You should have never come home,” his mom says, disgusted and ashamed. 

“Anatoly warned you,” Tommy says. 

Oliver shakes his head, but he knows it’s true. Anatoly had warned him. He told Oliver that he was a fool to think that a piece of cloth could separate the man from the monster. He said that dividing himself into two would only make the monster stronger. At the time, Oliver didn’t want to hear it. He was too enthralled by Talia and her promise of purpose. At the time, he was just so desperate to be back home again. He was selfish. He put his needs over his families and now he’s going the be left with nothing. 

Collectively, their hands all move to their hips and they glare at him in anger. They have every right to be mad at him. 

“I’m right here,” Felicity says, placing her hand over his heart. The touch helps to ground him into reality, but it doesn’t make him feel any less guilty. “Please just look at me. Listen to my voice. I’m right here and you are not alone.” 

“I can’t beat him,” Oliver says, finally opening his eyes to look at her. “He keeps taking the people I love and I don’t know how to beat him. I don’t know how to save them.” 

“Listen to me, Oliver,” she says, firmly. “I know it feels like you’ve lost everything. But you haven’t. I’m still here. Digg is still here. And together, we are going to figure this out. We are not going to let him destroy us. I believe in you. Okay? I believe in us. I just need  _ you _ to believe.” 

He takes a steadying breath and tries to force all of his fears back down, but it's difficult. He can still see Tommy standing behind her with his arms crossed. Behind him, his mother is crying over Thea’s dead body. He takes a shuddering breath. 

“You are not alone,” she says, firmly.“You aren’t on the island anymore, baby. I’m right here next to you and we are going to figure this out.” 

He reaches up to grab onto her wrist, holding her hand to his heart. He breathes deeply and focuses on the feeling of her hand against him. He blocks out everything else except for her. He lets himself feel her complete faith in him. Slowly, Tommy, his mom, and Thea all fade away. 

“We are going to find them. Alive,” Felicity says. His grip on her wrist tightens at her words. The confidence she has starts to seep into his own body. “And we are going to find a way to save them that doesn’t involve tearing this entire city apart by handing over the Markov devices.” 

Oliver nods his head in agreement as the weight of everything starts to lift from his shoulders. It’s easier to believe that he’ll get through this with her at his side. 

“What would I do without you?” he asks. 

“You never have to find out,” she says with a small smile, leaning in to give him a quick kiss before she rests her forehead against his. “I love you.” 

Oliver takes several deep breaths as he continues to steal strength from her. So long as he still has Felicity, he can get through this, he reminds himself. 

“Marry me,” he whispers. 

Felicity snorts before pulling away and kissing his forehead. “My answer is the same as it’s been every other time you’ve asked.” 

“Not yet?” he says, smiling up at her as she moves to stand up and stretch. 

“Pretty sure my exact words are something along the lines of, you’re crazy,” she teases. “But yeah. You can’t ask me when we’re in the middle of a crisis.” 

Oliver stands up as well and the movement after sitting down for so long has his knees and back cracking. 

“I’ve asked you to marry me twelve times. Eleven of them have not been in the middle of a crisis situation. That’s not the reason you’re saying no,” he says, trying not to push but unable to let it go. 

“You’ve counted?” She laughs in disbelief. “I’m not saying no.” 

She rolls her eyes as she glances back to where Digg is resting near the back, making sure he isn’t listening in. 

“You’re saying not yet,” he says.

Felicity stands on her toes in order to wrap her arms around his shoulders and his arms go around her waist. 

“I love you Oliver,” Felicity says, all teasing gone from her voice. “And one day I will let you call me your wife. But I’m not there yet. It’s too soon. I have things I want to do and goals I want to achieve before I become your trophy wife.” 

“You would never be a trophy wife. You’d be my partner,” he argues, hating that she would even suggest that. 

She gives him a shy smile. “Partners,” she says tentatively, like she’s testing out the word. “I do like that word.” 

“So marry me,” he asks again. 

Felicity sighs, and Oliver can already see her answer on her face before she says anything. 

“I love you. I will always, always love you. Please respect me on this,” she begs. 

Oliver takes a deep breath and nods. “Okay.” 

Felicity kisses him one more time and his arms tighten around her waist to keep her close. He’s about to suggest that they disappear into the bathroom to help relieve the stress that both of them are feeling when her computers start to beep and they jump apart. Felicity turns around to look at her computer and he moves to stand behind her as his heart beats fast. He’s so hopeful that they've finally found something after all this waiting. 

There’s an address on the screen, an old warehouse just outside of town. Felicity is shaking her head as she continues to type on her computer. Various angles on the building come up along with several other searches while she does about ten things at once, all too fast for him to follow. 

“What’s going on?” he asks, trying to figure out what they are looking at. 

“We got a ping on Tommy’s cell phone,” she says, confused.

“So we found them?” Oliver asks, trying to figure out why she’s not more excited. 

“His cell’s been off since he was taken,” she says, stepping back from her desk to cross her arms. “Doesn’t it seem weird to you that it would suddenly just turn back on?” 

“What’s going on?” Digg asks, coming back over from where he’d been resting near the back. 

“We have a location…” Felicity says, biting her lip. 

“Why do I feel like there’s a but coming?” Digg asks. 

“But it’s most likely a trap,” Oliver says, catching on to Felicity’s hesitance. 

There’s no way that Malcolm got sloppy enough to allow Tommy anywhere near his cell phone. In fact, Malcolm would have been smart enough to destroy the phone the second that he had Tommy. Even cell phones that are powered down can be hacked if you’re smart enough… and Felicity certainly is. He wouldn’t have taken that phone unless he was planning on using it to lure them out. 

The three of them stare at each other, each of them obviously calculating the risk. If they go, they are walking into an ambush. But if they don’t go, they might miss their only opportunity to get them back. 

“We can’t just not go, right?” she asks. “I mean what are the odds that Malcolm actually has them there?” 

“We can’t ignore it either,” Digg says. 

“Even if they aren’t there, Malcolm will be. And the only way we are going to find them is through him,” Oliver says. 

“I don’t like playing his game,” she argues, shaking his head. 

“There’s no telling what we’d be up against,” Digg agrees. 

“Malcolm isn’t called The Magician for nothing. He can disappear off the face of the planet if he wants to. We ignore this, and there’s no telling if we’ll ever get another opportunity,” Oliver says. “We have to go.” 

Oliver isn’t stupid. He knows that with three captives, Malcolm has more than he needs. He can easily kill any one of them and still have bargaining power. The longer they stay with him, the more likely it is that a body will eventually show up and Oliver isn’t ready to lose anyone he loves. Not tonight. They have to follow this lead, even if they follow it right into a trap. 

Felicity reaches out for his hand and he takes it, giving her a comforting squeeze. 

“I know that you’re right and you have to do this,” she says. “But I hate this plan.” 

He agrees with her. They are already facing an uphill battle trying to take on Malcolm alone. The fact that they are going to be doing it on his terms doesn’t sit well with Oliver. But it’s the only choice they have at the moment. If there’s even the slightest possibility of getting Thea, Tommy, and his mom back, they have to take it. 

Oliver looks up to see the carefully hidden fear in Digg’s eyes. The man is willing to go along with this plan, but he doesn’t like it any more than Oliver does. Oliver thinks about Carly and A.J.. He knows what it’s like to lose a father as an adult and it’s terrible. A.J. has already lost Andy. Can he really ask Digg to go out into the field and risk his own family in order to fight for Oliver’s? 

“I’ll go alone,” Oliver says. 

Felicity scoffs and Digg just rolls his eyes. 

“You’re not going alone,” Digg says. 

“He’s not going to kill me until he gets those devices,” Oliver says. “I can’t say the same thing about either of you.” 

Oliver has already lost too much to Malcolm, he can’t lose the only two people he has left. Going alone is the only logical solution. Malcolm can beat him up. He can torture him. But he can’t kill him. Not until Oliver gives him what he wants. As long as he keeps his mouth shut, Malcolm can’t kill him. 

“Oliver, you have to bring backup,” Felicity says. “You have no idea what you’re walking into and Malcolm is hard enough to take down one on one.” 

“I’ll be fine,” Oliver tries to argue, even though he doesn’t believe the words himself. 

“How can you say that?” she asks frantically. “He put you in the hospital over Christmas. Oliver! I know that you’re capable of taking him down. You’ll find a way, I truly believe that. But you need backup. You can’t do this alone.” 

“I’m not leaving you alone here,” Oliver argues. “That’s exactly what he wants.” 

“You can’t break into this place,” Felicity says. “I’m safe here. Even if he knew where to find me, he couldn’t break down those doors even if he wanted to. You made sure of that.” 

Oliver is about to argue, but Digg cuts him off. 

“She’s right,” Digg says. “I’m all about protecting Felicity because it’s clear that he wants her, but we’re going to have to play the odds here. And she’s a hell of a lot safer here on her own than you are out there on your own.” 

Oliver runs his hands over his face in frustration, hating that they are right. As much as he wants to ensure both of their safety, he can’t take on Malcolm alone. There is no telling what they are walking into and Oliver isn’t going to be able to carry all three of them out of there on his own while also watching his back. He needs a team if he’s going to save Thea, Tommy, and his mom. 

Oliver’s hands fall to his sides in defeat as he turns back to Felicity. “I need you to pull up everything you can on that building. If we are walking into a trap, I want as few surprises as possible.” 

Felicity rubs her hands together. “Hacking into secret government satellites in order to get thermal imaging? I’m your girl.” 

She points at him with a tense smile, letting him know that she’s not nearly as okay with this as she’s trying to be. 

“Just promise me you’ll break me out of Gitmo when all this is done,” she says. 

“They don’t send blondes there,” Digg teases. 

“She dyes it,” Oliver says, earning him a hard smack to the shoulder from Felicity. 

“I keep your secrets!”

“Is that really a secret?” Oliver teases. “I have pictures of you up in my room with brown hair. I’m sure Digg’s seen them.” 

Felicity tilts her head and glares at him playfully. “And is you being The Hood really a secret? I mean do you think that grease paint really conceals your identity?” 

“I told you, masks affect my ability to aim on the run,” he grumbles as he walks off to put his suit back on and try to prepare for the ambush they are about to walk into. 

Oliver is double checking his quiver and Digg is packing up his guns when Felicity calls out to them. 

“So it looks like there are just four people in the building right now. Three of them are located in the southwest corner, barley moving while the fourth has been pacing around in the center.” 

Oliver’s heart soars at the news. “That’s them,” he says, positive of it. 

Digg nods. It makes sense. 

“Just because he’s the only one there now, doesn't mean there won’t be backup coming,” Digg warns him. 

“From what I’ve heard of the League, they tend to lean towards solitary missions,” Oliver says. “Maybe there won’t be anyone else. Fighting Malcolm is going to be a challenge enough on its own. Maybe after beating me twice he’s confident I won’t be able to do it again.” 

“Still,” Digg says. “Felicity, run more checks on the surrounding buildings. I don’t want to be surprised.” 

“Got it,” she says. 

Once Oliver is satisfied that he has all of the arrows he’ll need, he straps his quiver to his back and picks up his bow. He then makes his way over to Felicity. He wraps his arm around her back as she finishes widening her search. 

“I like this satelite. You should buy me one,” she teases. 

“Help me bring everyone home safely, and I’ll buy you anything you want,” he says. 

“The surrounding buildings are clear,” she says. “Actually, the surrounding building. Singular. The warehouse is in the middle of nowhere. The only thing nearby is a large barn and it’s deserted apart from a few farm animals. Maybe this isn’t a trap? Maybe he got sloppy and Tommy was able to access his phone.” 

She looks up at him with hope and he doesn’t want to break it to her that if Tommy had access to his phone, he would have called for help already. 

“Yeah, maybe,” he says with a small smile. 

“Promise me that you’ll be safe,” she says, wrapping her arms around his neck as Digg walks over to them, signalling that it’s time to go. 

Oliver leans in close. “I love you,” he says before kissing her passionately. 

Her hands move to grasp at his face as she deepens the kiss. He can feel her desperation. 

“Don’t kiss me like it’s goodbye,” he says as she pulls away from him with tears in her eyes. 

“Okay,” she says, wiping her eyes. 

“I’m coming back,” he says, moving her hand out of the way to wipe her tears for her. 

“Okay,” she repeats as she attempts a brave smile. 

Even though he knows he shouldn’t, he promises, “I will always come back to you.” 

She needs to hear it and he needs to say it. It’s going to be too easy to give up in the fight against Malcolm. He’s clearly a superior fighter and Oliver has already lost to him twice. He has to make this promise so that giving up isn’t even an option. 

“I love you,” she tells him, leaning in for one more kiss. 

“Are you going to be okay?” he asks when she pulls back. 

She nods. “Go kick Malcolm’s ass.”

****

“It looks like Malcolm is currently walking the perimeter of the property. He’s on the north side,” Felicity talks them through over the comms as they look on from a distance. “There’s a door on the south side near where he’s holding them. I should be able to access the locks remotely and you can slip right in. If we play our cards right, Malcolm never has to know you were there.” 

Oliver looks to Digg to see if he agrees with the assessment. 

“You take point, I’ll pull up the rear,” Digg says. “You can watch out for Malcolm as I pull the others out.”

Oliver nods in agreement. They both start walking back around the building that they've been using as cover. It’s longer around, but if Malcolm is walking the perimeter, it’ll give them the cover they need.  

Quietly, with weapons raised so they can be ready for anything, they approach the door that Felicity was talking about. 

“We’re here,” Oliver says, looking to the lock that’s currently glowing red. 

“On it,” she says. He hears her typing and a few moments later the light turns green and the lock clicks open. Oliver allows Digg to open the door so that he can keep his arrow nocked as he enters the building carefully. 

“We’re in,” he says as the door shuts quietly behind them. 

“I see you,” Felicity says. “At the end of the hall, you’ll see two doors. Pick the one on the left. In that room is a large storage closet. That’s where he’s holding them.” 

Oliver and Digg follow her instructions. Digg brings up the front and he covers the back so that he’s ready to take on Malcolm the moment he realizes that his prisoners are being rescued. 

Oliver’s heart is beating a million times a minute and his hands are sweating profusely. If it weren't for his gloves, the arrow would probably have already slipped through his fingers. Days of stress… All this time wondering… worrying if they were alright and he’s about to see them again. The hope is bubbling up in his belly and it’s taking everything in him to keep his hands from shaking and hold his bow steady. 

“There’s a padlock,” Digg tells him. “If I shoot it off, Malcolm is going to hear.” 

Oliver weighs the risks. Obviously, the longer they can keep Malcolm away, the better their chance at getting everyone out safely. However, they can’t exactly afford the time it would take to pick a lock, either. 

“Felicity?” he asks hopefully. 

“He’s already on his way back. Slowly, but still, he’s going to hear you,” she tells them. 

“Damn it,” Digg says. 

Oliver takes a deep breath. “I’ve got him. Just get them out,” he orders. 

As much as he wants to see them, he needs them out of here even more. Reunions can wait. 

Oliver steps back out into the hallway, preparing himself to take on Malcolm alone, a third time. He has to be stronger than he’s been. He needs to give Digg enough time to get to safety. He can’t lose this fight. 

When Malcolm had held him in captivity, he’d told him that the reason he kept losing was because he didn’t know what he was fighting for. That’s not true anymore. He knows exactly what he’s fighting for — who he’s fighting for. He’s fighting for his loved ones freedom. He’s fighting to come home to Felicity. And that has to be stronger than Malcolm’s desire for revenge. If it isn’t, he’s going to die tonight. They all will. 

He hears the gunshot from the room, letting him know Digg shot off the lock. He’s about to ask Felicity to walk him towards Malcolm when a smattering of gunfire goes off in the room he just left. 

“It’s a trap!” Digg yells and Oliver hears it through the door as well as the comms. 

His heart races as he turns and kicks the door back open. He takes a split second to assess the situation and fires an arrow, hitting one of the three masked men square in the chest. The man falls to the ground. Oliver immediately nocks another arrow and fires it off at one of the men that’s already on top of Digg. Oliver’s jaw drops as the man reaches out and grabs the arrow before it can hit him in the chest. The man smirks before he jams it right into Digg’s side. His friend cries out in pain and falls to his knees. The other man takes advantage and kicks Digg right in his injured side. 

Oliver glances around to reassess the situation as he nocks another arrow. This time he grabs one of his trick arrows. These aren’t your average men they are dealing with. Very few people could catch an arrow at that speed. If he’s going to take them down, he’s going to have to attack this differently. 

“What’s going on?!” Felicity cries out and it’s her voice that triggers Oliver into action. 

He fires the arrow at one of the men. While the man reaches out and grabs it as well, the arrow deploys and cables wrap around the man’s body tightly from shoulder to thigh, making it nearly impossible for him to move. He then nocks another arrow and it hits him in the neck. He slumps to the floor instantly. 

At this point, the third man is already lunging at Oliver and he pulls back his bow, using it to smack the last man in the face. Hard. The man kicks out his foot and catches Oliver’s knees, and he just barely manages to stay on his feet, but it costs him. Oliver’s lost his offensive position. He’s dodging kicks and blocking punches as the man pushes him back towards the wall until he’s flat against it. 

A fist comes at his face and Oliver quickly moves to the side as the man’s fist goes through the drywall. Oliver uses the moment to knee the man in the balls and shove him backwards before he begins pummeling him. The two of them go at it for much longer than Oliver’s usually has to fight men. There’s very few people that have the skills to fight as well as this man, and it has Oliver wondering if Malcolm hasn’t called in some friends from the League of Assassins to help him out. 

Eventually, Oliver is able to get the upper hand and nocks an arrow quickly and aims it straight at his heart. The man falls to the floor. 

“Where’s the fourth guy?” Oliver asks, doing a quick count to make sure that all three men are still accounted for and nobody slipped away as his focus was on the fight. All bodies are accounted for. Including Digg, who is going to need medical attention, but is at least back on his feet. 

“He’s still guarding the perimeter,” Felicity says. “Which is weird. Why wouldn’t he have joined the fight?”

Oliver hears a faint beeping sound as his eyes widen and he scans the room to figure out where the explosive is about to come from. Isolating the sound to the closet, Oliver just barely has enough time to grab Digg and throw him to the ground as the blast goes off. 

A wave of heat moves over them. Parts of the walls and ceiling fall on top of them. Oliver does his best to cover Digg’s body while also protecting his own head. Time moves in slow motion for him. What can only be seconds, feels like minutes. And when the ball of fire dissipates and turns to smoke and the dust seems to settle, Oliver rolls off of Digg. His entire body protests the move.

“Are you okay?” he yells, his ears ringing loudly. 

Digg yells something back at him, but Oliver can’t hear him. 

“Are you okay?” he asks again, louder this time. 

Digg just shakes his head and points at his ears. Both of them are struggling to hear after the loud explosion. 

Oliver pulls himself to his feet and quickly grabs his bow, in case the fourth man decides to come back. He then helps Digg to his feet. Oliver pulls up his shirt to check out the stab wound. Thankfully, it doesn’t look as bad as Oliver initially thought. He’ll need to be patched up, but if they can do that quickly, he might not even need a transfusion. 

A sharp pain to his ear has him yanking out his comm and tossing it to the floor. When he looks down at it, it’s obvious that it’s been fried. Felicity is going to be freaking out, but she’ll have to wait. He left his cell in the bunker and he has no other way of contacting her. 

Oliver nods to the door, letting Digg know that they should head home before Malcolm finds them like this. Neither of them are in good enough shape to try and fight him right now. Digg starts walking and Oliver follows him. They are able to make it out to Digg’s van without any more run ins. Oliver worries that he should go after Malcolm before they lose him for good, but right now, getting Digg patched up is more important. 

He has to have faith that Malcolm will make his presence known again and they’ll get another opportunity to take him out. 

Oliver helps Digg into the passenger side seat before he walks back around and climbs in the driver’s side. The two of them spend the drive back to Verdant in silence as the ringing in his ears eventually dies down. 

The first thing Oliver sees when he drives up to Verdant, is the smoke. The entire block is engulfed in it. And though the heat coming from the building is nearly unbearable, his blood runs cold. 

“No,” he whispers, refusing to believe it. 

Without any regard to his own health, he runs straight into the fire. The only thing he’s thinking about is getting to Felicity. 

He nearly burns his hand off yanking the door open and he has to duck as a ball of fire comes at him once he does. As soon as it clears, he runs in. He dodges falling debris as he twists and turns to avoid the flames currently turning the club to ash. 

She’s safe in the bunker, he reminds himself. The doors are fire proof. He made sure of that after their run in with Lynns. If Malcolm was trying to blow the door open to get to her, he would be shit out of luck. And Felicity isn’t foolish enough to have opened the door for him. 

Felicity was right when she said that the bunker was impenetrable. She’s safe. She’s okay, he tells himself, trying to talk himself off the ledge. The walls of the hall leading to the bunker are completely overwhelmed with flames, but there’s the tiniest sliver of space for him to move through and he takes it. 

He reaches the door and his breath catches when he sees it slightly ajar. There’s no way. Malcolm couldn’t have broken in. 

He pushes the door open and flies down the stairs, grateful that they haven’t caught fire yet. Though the metal railings are too hot to touch. Though the flames haven’t made their way to the bunker, the entire places is a disaster. There’s broken glass everywhere. Arrows and other weapons litter the floor. Every table in the place has been upturned and every drawer emptied. 

“Felicity!” he calls out, begging her to answer. He listens carefully for her voice, knowing he might not hear it clearly over the roar of the fire ahead. 

“Felicity!” he cries out desperately as panic squeezes at his heart painfully. 

His eyes scan for any sign of her, praying that she’s just stuck under a table or that she’s hiding behind a mat. 

“Felicity!” he yells when she doesn’t respond. His hands are literally shaking. 

The smell of smoke is overwhelming and it burns his lungs as he breathes it in. He crouches down, hoping he’ll be able to see better through the smoke from a lower height. Perhaps Felicity just passed out from the smoke inhalation. When he still can’t see her, his eyes move to the ceiling as his hood falls back. He prays to a god he doesn’t believe in for a miracle. He cannot lose Felicity. She’s the last thing holding his sanity together. 

He moves to stand up and continue his search, but there’s a shattering under his foot. He glances down and his heart stops beating when he sees her glasses broken under his boot. 

“No,” he whispers, falling to his knees hard. 

The entire world stops. 

He loses the ability to process at all. His eyes scan the bunker, but his brain can’t make sense of anything he’s seeing. He reaches out to take hold of her broken glasses, but he doesn’t register the touch. He tries to breath in deep to center himself, but even as his lungs fill with smoke, he smells nothing. He feels nothing. 

Digg comes down the stairs and places a hand on his shoulder. He must say something, but Oliver doesn't hear it. Digg moves and does something with Felicity’s computer, but even that is shattered too. Like his heart. 

This is it. This is how it ends. 

He pictures himself picking up one of the larger pieces of glass that is on the ground. He imagines how he’d run it over his wrists and watch as he bleeds out, paying for his sins with his own blood in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, the world would accept his offering and let the others go. 

Digg comes back to stand in front of him, and again, he probably says something. He then kneels down in front of Oliver and his lips are moving, but Oliver hears none of it. He stares right through Digg, not allowing himself to take comfort in his presence. Soon, he’ll be gone too. Malcolm will get to him. Oliver will be alone. As he was always meant to be. 

Maybe it’s better this way. 

Digg’s hand wraps around Oliver’s arm and pulls him to his feet. Oliver doesn’t have the energy to do anything but follow him mindlessly. He coughs heavily as Digg leads him to the side entrance and out into the night. 

The air outside must be markedly cooler than inside because goosebumps move up his arms and spine. He lets it happen. Maybe the air will freeze his heart and he won’t have to deal with the heartbreaking truth. Felicity is gone. She’s actually gone. It doesn’t seem possible, but it is. 

Red and blue lights paint the alleyway. He watches mindlessly as Digg’s face goes from dark red to nearly purple, then back to red. Oliver’s hood gets pulled back over his head as he’s pulled further into the alley. Digg’s lips continue to move, but Oliver can’t handle it. He can’t focus on trying to listen to what he’s saying when the world just stopped turning. 

Oliver was naive to think that he ever stood a chance against Malcolm. Of course all roads were going to lead to this. He burned Malcolm’s world to the ground when he took those devices, and Malcolm turned around and did the same thing to him. 

Oliver continues to cough around the smoke in the air and his eyes drift towards the burning building. He wonders how quickly he could die from smoke inhalation. Could he make it far enough into the building without passing out? Would he feel the flames lick his body and burn his skin? It’s what he deserves. Hell. 

A woman comes to stand in front of him, and it’s a testament to how out of it he truly is how long it takes him to realize that this woman is Amanda Waller. 

“Oliver,” Amanda says, looking him over with a critical eye. 

If she’s here, it means that she got his message. The smallest spark of hope lights in his heart. 

“Where is he?” he demands as he starts to feel his senses all come back, and one by one he takes all of the negative ones and shoves them in a box to sort through later. Right now, he needs to compartmentalize. 

Oliver is going to reign down hell on Malcolm Merlyn for daring to touch his family. Rage boils in his stomach and his hands curl into fists. He ignores the pain of the burn coming from his left hand. His only focus is on finding Malcolm and putting him in the ground. 

She pulls a flash drive out of her pocket. He goes to reach for it, but she closes her hand around it and holds it out of reach. 

“I brought this information, because Malcolm Merlyn is a threat to national security. I want him brought into ARGUS custody where I can insure he won’t escape,” she says. 

“Done,” he promises, reaching out to grab the flash drive, but she pulls it out of his reach again. 

“I brought this to you because I trusted that you were up to the challenge of taking Merlyn down,” she says. “Now, I’m not so sure.” 

She looks at him with those calculating eyes that see everything. 

“Amanda,” he says carefully, needing her to sense how serious he is. This isn’t time to play games or barter or whatever it is she’s looking for. He needs that flash drive, now. The lives of everyone he loves are at stake. 

“Oliver,” Digg interrupts, and Oliver holds up his hand to stop him, his eyes not leaving Amanda’s. 

“Oliver,” Digg says more urgently. 

He turns to look and notices the SCPD at the end of the alley, pointing their guns at them. Oliver looks down at himself, realizing he’s still in his hood, but he doesn’t have his bow. 

“Amanda,” Oliver says carefully, turning to look at her. 

She waves her hand while rolling her eyes. 

“I’ll clean up your mess, as usual,” she says, looking like the cat that ate the canary. 

“For a price,” Oliver say knowingly. 

“You’re in the middle of a crisis,” she says. “I won’t ask you for a favor… yet.” 

He knew when he reached out to her the price that came along with her help and he was prepared to pay it to get Thea back. Now that his entire world is gone, he doesn’t care what he has to promise so long as it gets them back home alive. 

“I need that flash drive,” he tells her. 

She nods. 

“You have three hours,” she says. “At which point, my men are on standby and are going in with the explicit directive to bring Merlyn in, any means necessary. They aren’t going to stop and worry about the casualty count.” 

Oliver doesn’t need to ask what she means. 

“They are innocent people,” he says, his blood boiling at the implication she wouldn’t try and save Thea, Felicity, Tommy, or his mom. 

“We won’t purposefully kill anyone,” she assures him, but Oliver learned how to make a carefully worded promise from Amanda, so he hears what she doesn’t say loud and clear. 

“Amanda…” 

“I’m giving you three hours. Use it,” she says, letting him know that she isn’t going to budge on this one, and he doesn’t have a lot of bargaining chips to play. 

She holds out the flash drive and Oliver takes it. She smiles at him. 

“Now that’s two favors.” 


	4. Sunday

**Sunday**

Oliver barely flinches as Digg stitches up one of the open wounds on his back without any anesthetic. The pain is welcome. It keeps him grounded. It gives him something solid to hold onto as his entire world slips further and further away. The cuts along his back give him focus. The cracked ribs force him to breathe evenly. 

He can hold it together because he doesn’t have another choice. 

“The lighting in here is horrible,” Digg complains. 

Oliver glances over his shoulder at him. “Did you want to return to the bunker? We might be able to salvage some of your medical supplies amongst the ash. That is, if there’s anything left after the SCPD got in there.” 

He’s not being serious. They came back to Digg’s apartment tonight because they both know that the bunker is no longer an option for them. 

“I thought ARGUS was going to take care of that problem for you,” Digg says. 

Oliver turns back around and lays his forehead against his arms as he shrugs. Waller did say that she would take care of the SCPD, and he knows that she will. She isn’t going to risk him getting exposed as The Hood. She values his skills too much as an ARGUS operative to let the whole world know about his talents. She’ll cover up the bunker for her own benefit. 

“Are we going to talk about that?” Digg asks. 

Oliver doesn’t respond. He has no interest in talking about Amanda Waller or how he came to know her. There are some secrets he doesn’t think he’ll ever be ready to share. 

“Oliver,” Digg says, clearly frustrated that he’s not talking, so Oliver changes the subject. 

“I can’t believe I let him best me again,” he grumbles into the throw pillow he’s been laying on. 

Oliver is too frustrated to really feel the shame of his failure at the moment, but it’ll come soon. Waller has already made her displeasure at how things turned out well known. Oliver and Digg had shown up at the location she provided to take on Malcolm. And they’d certainly found him. Unfortunately, he’d been alone. They weren’t able to rescue anyone because Malcolm had not had them with him. Instead, they’d gotten a through ass beating. 

By the time ARGUS showed up on the scene, Malcolm was long gone and the two of them were still nursing their wounds, too beat up to even make it to their van. Every muscle in his body aches. His skin is littered with new cuts, scrapes, and several new stab wounds. There are bruises everywhere. But he won’t complain. He deserves each and every one of these wounds. He deserves far worse. 

Oliver had been hopeful that they’d pull off a win tonight. He’d thought with the anger coursing through his veins, the threat of his family’s safety, and the addition of Diggle, they’d been strong enough to come out on top. He couldn’t have been more wrong. All for what? They still have no idea where Malcolm is holding his family. 

Oliver had put on the hood to protect his city, but he can’t even protect those closest to him. He’s a joke. 

He closes his eyes and replays the fight in his mind as Digg continues to stitch him up. In most of the fights Oliver’s had in his life — at least, the ones where he’s lost — he can point to the moment where he made the fatal mistake. He can pinpoint the exact moment when things went wrong. He looks back, learns from those mistakes, and doesn’t make them again. He becomes stronger for it. 

With Malcolm it’s different. There’s not a single moment. There’s no point in which he can see an obvious move that he could have made to change the tide. Oliver replays the fight over and over and he knows that he did everything he could. And it still wasn’t good enough. 

And that’s the shitty thing. If he can’t learn from this fight, he can’t get better. And if he can’t get better, he’s never going to defeat Malcolm. He’ll keep losing these fights while slowly but surely, Malcolm kills everyone he cares about. 

Felicity had told him that she believed in him and he wants to believe in himself, but there’s just nothing there. She placed her faith in him and he let her down. Her trust in his ability to keep her safe is the reason she’s gone. 

“You have failed this city,” Felicity’s voice echoes through his brain. 

She’s giggling. He can picture her standing in the doorway of his closet, wearing one of his hoodies. She’s swimming in it. The hem falls all the way to her naked thighs and the hood is so large it nearly blocks her eyes from view. She has her arms raised like she’s nocking an arrow at him. 

The smile on her face is wide and his heart clenches painfully as he remembers how happy she’d been that morning. She’d been so giggly and playful in bed that it had made him feel... God, he’d felt normal. Better than normal. He’d felt like he could walk on the clouds. She was pure sunshine and for the first time since the Gambit had gone down, he’d felt warm. 

That morning he’d told her that he could have stayed in bed with her forever. He’d just wanted to keep her close to him. In that moment he’d completely forgotten about every bad thing that had ever happened to him and he’d just allowed himself to be free. Happy. Relaxed. 

He’d let his guard down around her. 

That was his downfall. Letting her in. Letting his mom and Thea in. Tommy. Digg. He was an idiot to think that he could have both worlds. 

A man cannot live by two names. 

“Alright, you’re done,” Digg says. 

Oliver rolls off of the couch and stands up. He very slowly stretches out his stiff back, careful not to rip out his stitches. His back cracks and he sighs as some of the pressure is alleviated. He then limps his way back towards the bathroom. He steps through the door and locks it behind himself. As the lock clicks into place, the silence sets in and it rests heavily on his heart. 

An invisible force presses down on his chest and stomach. As he tries to breathe deeply, that pressure prohibits him from doing so. His lip starts to tremble as he holds back tears that come from seemingly nowhere. Oliver looks up in the mirror and reminds himself to be strong. In the Bratva, crying would have gotten him killed. It certainly wasn’t a weakness an ARGUS operative was allowed. 

His hands start to shake and he squeezes them into fists. Now is not the time to fall apart. There are people counting on him to take charge of this situation and help them. He doesn’t get to fall apart. 

Oliver sits down on the toilet and unlaces his boots. It takes several tries due to the fact that his hands won’t stop shaking and the laces keep slipping through his fingers. Once his boots are off, he stands up and takes several deep breaths. He even looks up at the ceiling for several seconds in an attempt to open his airway up and allow more oxygen into his body. His head is already spinning. He closes his eyes tight and when he opens them again, the tears are gone. 

He undoes his zipper and slowly peels off his pants. With his shirt and jacket discarded earlier so Digg could stitch him up, he’s left in only his boxers. He looks at himself in the mirror again and examines his new injuries. He’s going to have a new collection of scars to add to the roadmap of torture and abuse he’s endured over the years. 

He tries not to think about how many scars will litter the bodies of his loved ones thanks to his failure. 

“I love those scars,” Felicity had once told him. “Every one of them is a time I could have lost you and didn’t. They show your strength.” 

He hadn’t understood then, but he thinks he might understand now. He’d rather his loved ones were unharmed, but he’ll take a thousand scars on their bodies if it means Malcolm doesn’t kill them. Because Malcolm is probably going to kill them. 

It’s a frightening reality. All he really needs is one person to hold over Oliver as leverage. He has four. Oliver is terrified that eventually, he’s going to start killing them and leaving them for Oliver to find. It’s what he would do. If he was trying to get an enemy to give up something valuable, he’d kill their loved ones to show that his threats weren’t empty. 

He scrubs at his face in an effort to wash that thought away quickly. He hates himself for how easy it is for him to understand Malcolm. He shouldn’t be able to understand the perspective of a psychotic terrorist. The fact that he can is just further proof that he had no business coming home. 

His skin burns and his muscles ache. He yearns for Felicity’s gentle touch. When he closes his eyes, he can almost pretend that she’s here, running her fingers over his new wounds and whispering words of love into his skin. He feels her absence deep in his bones. It’s as if somebody drove their hand right into his abdomen and yanked out his organs. There’s a hollowness inside of him that has him feeling everything and yet nothing all at once. 

He doesn’t know how to describe how empty he feels, how deeply it hurts. 

Picturing her standing in front of him, worrying her lip as she runs her fingers up and down his chest, he feels that pressure again. He’s going to have a panic attack. He can feel the inevitability at the base of his spine. And she isn’t going to be here to talk him off the ledge. 

The question is no longer if, but when. He can keep pushing it down, but it’s going to eventually happen. There’s only so much pressure you can put on a bottle before it explodes. 

But now is not the time. 

Oliver breathes in slowly through his nose and out his mouth. He lets the air fill his lungs as much as they can before he lets out his breath. He continues in this way, slow and steady. Once his breathing is slowed down and his body has stopped trembling, he lets all of his thoughts slip away like raindrops, rolling right off of him. 

Oliver doesn’t know how long he stands there, staring at himself, not thinking. But it must be pretty long, because Digg knocks on the door and asks him if he’s alright, sounding concerned. 

“I’m…” Oliver trails off. He can’t say he’s okay. He’s not. Nothing is ever going to be okay again. 

He wants to say something, he knows that he should. However, he also knows that the moment he does, this carefully built house of cards will come tumbling down. And he can’t handle that right now. He can’t let himself go to that dark place. Not when he doesn’t have his guiding light to bring him back. 

So instead, he stands here and feels nothing. He does nothing. Digg asks him if he needs anything, and he says nothing. 

“Alright, man. If you need me, I’ll be in my room. It’s nearly dawn. You should get some rest.” 

****

Oliver sits on the couch watching Diggle tinker with the harddrive he’d pulled from the bunker during the fire. Oliver hadn’t even realized Digg had retrieved it, but then again, much of what happened last night is a bit of a blur for him. From the moment he’d discovered Felicity was missing, his body had switched into autopilot and he hadn’t processed much of anything. 

“Got it,” Digg says, finally able to pull up the contents of the harddrive up on his laptop. 

“Can you access the camera feed?” Oliver asks, standing up to move over to the table. 

Digg sighs deeply. “What good is watching it going to do? What’s done is done.” 

Oliver ignores him. He has to know what went wrong. He needs to see it himself. He has too many questions about how Malcolm managed to get to Felicity. 

“Show me,” he demands. 

It takes Digg a few minutes to pull things up, but eventually he’s able to get access to the video feed from the bunker last night. He turns his screen so that Oliver can see and presses play. 

He can see all six cameras in the feed. Two from within the bunker, one at the side door, and the remaining three are located at key spots around Verdant. Oliver can clearly see Felicity sitting at her computers from the box in the bottom left. His eyes scan the other feeds for movement, looking to catch Merlyn.

A moment later, an explosion goes off in the hallway of Verdant that leads to the bunker. The lights flicker in the bunker and Felicity stands up, her eyes going to the ceiling. She then turns back to her computer and starts typing something as her lips move. She looks frantic. It’s clear that she’s trying to talk to him over the comms, but Oliver never heard her.

“He timed it,” he says in realization. “The explosion at the warehouse. He wanted our comms out and for us to assume it was an issue on our end. He didn’t want us rushing back to rescue her.”

“Jackass,” Digg mutters.

Oliver’s eyes return to the screen and he can see Malcolm approach the side entrance. Felicity must see it, because her back straightens and her eyes go back and forth between the side entrance and the stairs. She’s calculating what to do.

“Just stay there,” Oliver whispers, pleading with her not to leave. Malcolm is trying to draw her out, but as long as she doesn’t leave, she’s safe. Even though he knows what happens, he can’t help but look on, begging for a different outcome.

The fire in Verdant builds and the bunker cams grow hazy as it’s obvious that the bunker is filling up with smoke. He glances to Malcolm to see him holding up a metal can with the words ethyl bromoacetate on it. He’s smirking. 

“Tear gas,” he says, instantly recognizing the substance. “The fucking asshole smoked her out.” 

Felicity rips off her sweater as she rushes over to the air duct system. She glances around, familiarizing herself with it before she tries to use her sweater to block the vent. All the while, she’s coughing up a storm and trying to tuck her face into her elbow to keep from breathing in the fumes. 

He watches in horror as Felicity looks at the side entrance one last time before she moves to the stairway. She’s clearly hopeful that she’ll be able to sneak out the front entrance. That she can somehow avoid the flames and make it out before Malcolm realizes she’s gone.

She disappears from the bunker cams for a moment or two, before she reappears on the main floor of Verdant. She’s dodging around flames as her face remains in her elbow, trying to keep the smoke from her lungs. Oliver’s hands move into fists as Malcolm walks out of frame.

“No,” he says, shaking his head.

He should have been there. Oliver could have done something. He could have fended off Malcolm as Felicity made it to safety.

Felicity disappears from the camera again and appears at the front entrance of the club. She’s out the door and rushing in the direction of her car when Malcolm suddenly appears and grabs her by the throat. Oliver’s hands curl into fists, ready to fight, and Digg places his hand on his shoulder in support.

Malcolm drags Felicity by the throat back into the building. Her hands grasp at the arm holding her. Her feet are kicking about helplessly, trying to gain traction to fight him off, but she can’t. Oliver watches them appear and disappear from the various cameras until they’ve made it to the bunker. Malcolm drops Felicity carelessly to the floor so that he can pull on a gas mask. She rolls a few times before stopping. Her hands instantly go to rub at her throat. There’s no way the mother fucker didn’t crush her windpipe dragging her around by the throat like he did. That mixed with the tear gas has her looking like she’s wheezing. 

Malcolm begins pulling drawers out completely and tossing the contents aside. It’s hard to see his face in the cameras, but the way he’s holding himself alone is frightening. Malcolm is blinded by his rage and beyond reasoning. Felicity has to be terrified. He picks up an arrow and points it at Felicity as he yells something. She shakes her head. Oliver assumes he’s asking where the device is.

“She doesn’t know,” he says, even though it’s pointless. Malcolm can’t hear him.

“You never told her where you were sending it?” Digg asks.

“I thought it was safer that way,” he whispers, his eyes welling up with tears as he watches Malcolm use the head of the arrow to cut at Felicity’s arm.

“He’s not going to believe her,” Digg says, horrified.

“Fuck,” Oliver says as Malcolm picks up the green crate he brought back with him from Lian Yu and throws it against the wall. It shatters.

Felicity crawls backwards as Malcolm starts turning over tables. She’s nearly made it to the stairs when Malcolm grabs her by the ankle and drags her back. He kicks her in the side and Oliver’s nails dig so far into the skin of his palms that it draws blood. He can’t watch this.

Malcolm grabs her ponytail and pulls her to her feet. Felicity reaches up to try and pry his hands off of her as she struggles to get her feet under her.

“How long does this go on?” Oliver asks, not knowing how much more he can watch of this.

Digg doesn’t answer right away and Oliver turns to glare at him.

Digg shakes his head sadly. “Fifteen minutes.”

“Fifteen— Jesus Christ!” Oliver’s fist hits the table hard. “Where were we? We had to have been almost there.”

“We missed them by ten minutes,” Digg says, placing a sympathetic hand on his shoulder but Oliver shrugs it off. He starts to pace as he watches Malcolm grab Felicity by the throat and slam her into one of the glass cabinets.

The tears start to stream freely down his face and he doesn’t even attempt to control his breathing as his entire body starts to panic.

“He’s going to kill her,” Oliver whispers to himself. “I should have told her where they were.”

“You have to hold it together,” Digg says.

“Hold it to— Are you fucking kidding me right now, Diggle?!” Oliver screams. “Do you see what that psychopath is doing to her?”

“I see it,” Digg says. “And it kills me, too. But we can’t help her if we fall apart.”

Oliver’s hands pull at his hair as he stumbles backwards, his eyes never leaving the screen. Felicity is on the ground again and Malcolm is standing over her, yelling. She tries to back away, but Malcolm just keeps following her like a predator playing with his prey. As they pass her desk, Malcolm swipes at the monitors and they go tumbling to the floor. He leans over and yanks one of the cords hard enough that it breaks and starts sparking. He then jams it into Felicity’s side and her head falls to the side as she screams. 

She rolls over to get away and that’s when her glasses fall off. She reaches out for them, but Malcolm kicks them out of reach. He grabs her by the ponytail and yanks her head back. He leans over her and speaks into her ear as she winces. When she opens her eyes, she glances the camera and does a double take. She then stares up at it like she knows that they will be watching. She mouths something. 

“What was that?” Oliver asks, reaching out desperately. 

Digg rewinds the tape a few seconds and zooms in. They both watch, but can’t make out what she’s saying. He rewinds it again and they both move in closer to the screen, trying to figure out what she’s telling them. 

“Don’t… something,” Digg says. 

“Don’t give…” Oliver sighs as he realizes what she’s saying. “Don’t give it to him.” 

“She doesn’t want you to give him the devices,” Digg says. 

“He’s going to kill her,” Oliver says, looking at Digg like he’s insane. He has to realize that Oliver doesn't have a choice here. 

Digg shakes his head. He doesn’t have an answer for him. They turn back to the screen and watch as Malcolm continues to tear apart the bunker and terrorize Felicity. It’s like a train wreck. Oliver doesn’t want to watch anymore, but he can’t look away either. Every finger that Malcolm lays on her feels like a punch to the gut. 

After what feels like hours, Malcolm finally pulls Felicity to her feet. She’s weak. She can barely stand. She takes three steps before she passes out and Malcolm pulls her into his arms. Oliver’s stomach bubbles at the sight of him holding her in that way. But he doesn’t throw up. Not until Malcolm looks up at the camera directly and smiles. It’s a smile Oliver knows well. One he saw many times during his time with the Bratva. 

Oliver rushes to the bathroom and just barely makes it to the toilet before he starts vomiting. When he’s done, he falls back against the wall and Digg hands him a warm towel to wash his face. Oliver immediately starts crying. Wordlessly, Digg sinks down to the floor beside Oliver. 

“He’s going to kill her,” Oliver says, knowing it’s true beyond a shadow of a doubt. 

Malcolm might have taken everyone else as leverage, but Felicity is different. Oliver has known a lot of monsters in his life. He understands how they work. There’s the ones that thirst only for power. They don’t relish in violence, but they will resort to it as a means to an end. Waller is like that. She prefers not to get her hands dirty, but she isn’t afraid of casualties if it gives her the winning hand. Oliver believes he learned that mentality from her. Then there’s the men who don’t give a second thought to who they hurt in their raise to the top. They want power and they don’t hesitate to grab at it. Men like Ivo and Reiter. 

But there’s a special kind of monster. The ones that enjoy violence for violence sake and the ones that enact that violence on those most vulnerable… usually women and children. Oliver met too many of those men in Russia and it always made his skin crawl. Each and every one of them always had the same look in their eyes. The same predatory smile. And it’s that exact look that he saw on Malcolm’s face. 

Just thinking about it now makes his blood turn to ice and his stomach flip again. 

Malcolm wants revenge. He wants to hurt them for destroying his plans. Malcolm could have gone after him, but it would just be a footnote in Oliver’s long and tortured biography. At this point, pain doesn’t make a point anymore. Oliver’s grown used to it. But Felicity… Knowing that Felicity is being hurt because of him is the worst possible pain Oliver can imagine. 

He wipes at his eyes, trying to hold it together. When he glances over at Digg, he can see that his friend is crying too. 

“We can give Malcolm the devices,” Digg says. “We can find another way to stop the Undertaking.” 

Oliver shakes his head. “He’s going to kill her anyway.” 

“You can’t know that,” Digg argues. He’s just as upset about this as Oliver is. 

“I do,” Oliver says, completely sure of himself. “Malcolm doesn’t want to kill Tommy, Thea, or my mom. Despite what a monster he is, he won’t kill his family. Not unless it’s absolutely necessary. Felicity is different. He doesn’t have years of family vacations together or memories of shared holidays with her. There’s nothing stopping him from killing her for the role she played in destroying his plans.” 

“So we tell him we’ll only give him the devices if she’s alive?” Digg asks. Oliver can tell that even he doesn’t believe it will work. His shoulders slump, resolved. They’re defeated. “What are we going to do?” 

Oliver takes a steadying breath as he puts himself in Malcolm’s shoes. He calculates Malcolm’s hand and compares it with his goals. He strategizes and thinks through Malcolm’s options. 

“He wants the devices more than anything,” Oliver says. “As long as he’s still looking for it, he won’t kill her. Right now, keeping those devices away from Malcolm is the only thing keeping her alive.” 

“But he’s going to continue to torture her because he thinks that she knows where it is,” Digg argues. 

Oliver swallows hard, picturing the terrified look on her face from the bunker cams. His lip trembles but he holds it together. 

“She can come back from being tortured,” he says, mostly to remind himself that it’s the truth. “I can’t bring her back from the dead.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are love!


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